Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Republicans make me laugh

Today I received an item in the mail from the National Republican Congressional Committee, addressed to me by name with the salutation: “Dear Republican Friend.” Umm apparently their awesome data base has some flaws.

Enclosed with this letter was something entitled “Ohio 7th Congressional District Survey.” It urges that I should be certain to “answer each question carefully and honestly.” (You'll realize why this is funny after you read the survey.) Ok so I read on. The following questions are the actual questions on the survey. The answers of course are my own.

1. Do you feel voters in the Ohio’s 7th District support making all of the Bush tax cuts permanent? “ Tax cut, what tax cut I didn’t get a tax cut.

2. Do you support the House Democrats “slow-bleed” strategy to “choke-off” funding for our troops in Iraq? leading to their withdrawal and perception of American defeat? Hmm no I’m for stopping the bleeding totally and ending an illegal criminal war. Interesting strategy though, regardless of the fact that democrats haven’t proposed it. Besides how can we be defeated. Bush said “Mission Accomplished” years ago, we already won.

3. Should Republicans continue fighting for full implementation of a ballistic missile defense system? Sure lets start the arms race all over again so we not only have terrorists to worry about but all the industrialized nations in the world who no longer trust us because of Bush's lies.

4. Do voters in Ohio’s 7th District agree with the Nancy Pelosi Democrat Majority’s decision to impose massive tax hikes on the American People? Wow, holy crap are there two Nancy Pelosi’s? I’m not sure what the “Democrat Majority” means but the Nancy Pelosi of the Democratic Party that is in the Majority, has never proposed any such thing.

5. Do you think that the House Republicans should continue to push for pro-growth policies that create jobs and oppose tax increases that would add a burden to working families and set back our economy? Oh they are doing such a bang up job helping the economy; sure I always wanted to see a depression to find out if the stories my Grandfather told are true.

6. Do you support Congressional Republicans’ efforts to decrease domestic government spending in order to reduce the national debt? Oh speaking of things in which they have done a GREAT job. Sure I always wanted to be able to be owned by China.

7. Do you support the Democrats efforts to give federal government bureaucrats complete control of your health care costs and choices? No I prefer the health insurance and pharmaceutical companies bleed me dry. They must think Ralph Nader is going to be President since he is the only one proposing single payer health care.

8. Should Republicans’ in Congress make expansion of Veteran’s benefits a priority? Well is about time they do, considering how “patriotic” they all are. But they better hurry cause the Democrats in Congress are way ahead of them on this one. It's understandable though, they got a head start while the Republicans were making sure their flag pins were straight and getting those yellow ribbons placed properly on their cars.

9. Do you support maintaining anti-terrorism laws that give law enforcement and intelligence agencies the far-reaching powers to track, detain and prosecute terrorists and their accomplices? Does this mean we are going to stop shredding the constitution and using fear as a political tool and actually go after Bin Laden and the terrorists?

10. Should Republicans in the House of Representatives make securing our nation’s borders and enforcing our nation’s immigration laws including combating the hiring of illegal workers and ending the catch and release policy a top priority? Top priority, umm no ending the war, stopping poverty, people losing their homes, health care all come way higher. Wait? I have to take my shoes off at the airport and Homeland security lets anyone cross the borders? Catch and release, hmmm how much are all the prisons going to cost to put all these immigrants in or do you just mean the immigrants of color. Are republicans trying to sell Lou Dobbs’ books too?

11. Do you think House Republicans should continue fighting for comprehensive education reform to ensure every child in America receives a first rate education? Ohhh wow, you mean the Republicans are going to push for actually educating our kids instead of teaching them how to pass a test?

12. Do you agree that winning back a Republican majority in the House of Representatives is essential to stopping the Nancy Pelosi Democrats from raising our taxes, destroying our economy and endangering our homeland? Heavens yes because a Democratic Majority might actually result in returning to a fiscally responsible government, restoring the damage to our economy, to make our country safer and restore our respect in the world.

13. Will you support our Party’s campaign to defeat the Pelosi Democrats and elect a Republican House Majority in 2008 by joining the NRCC with a generous financial contribution today? The computer says, "NAWWW"

Oh they follow up with a request that even if I can’t donate now could I send $11 to help pay for this survey. Let me see you send me totally false laughable propaganda and want me to pay for it? I'll ponder this for a moment.....ok done. Not a chance.

If there weren’t people who actually fall for this crap I’d laugh harder then I did.

Time to send at least $11 to Sharen Neuhardt’s campaign.

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Blogger mud_rake said...

The problem for 'Republicans' is that this current batch of GOP-ers in no way resembles those pproud and noble people who rand the party in the 50's and 60's. Men like Eisenhower, Dirksen, Taft, Rockerfeller, Aiken, Lodge and Margaret Chase Smith worked for the common good, for the citizens rather for the good of their political party.

That group is gone. They have been replaced by bandits, outlaws who, in a junta, took the name but not the core values of that Grand Old Party.

So when oyu speak of 'Republicans,' you have to clarify to which group you refer: the bandits or the patriots.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Joe R said...

Noted. In this case I refer to the batch of Republicans in the Congress now and those that sent out this piece of propoganda.

Though usually I refer to the national batch of Republicans that began to come to power with Reagan.

9:49 PM  
Blogger Brad said...

Maybe I haven't been paying attention, but it seems like they have moved from ignoring Pelosi to actively vilifying her.

Interesting post.


2:21 AM  

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